My Resolve for the New Year

Like any normal person, I look forward to the new year ahead for the new beginning that it represents. Of course any day could be a new beginning, but New Year just seems to be the most appropriate time to start a new life, new plan - new anything! It does not matter that most of our new year plans and resolutions fly out of the window in less than a month...we don't lose heart. First of all, it's an accepted eventuality. Second of all, we still have the next year to look forward to, to recycle the same resolution! :)

I could not help but reflect on the year 2007 and what an amazing year this has been for me! When I become great someday, and someone writes my biography, 2007 will be marked as a very significant year in my life. Would probably take two chapters of the book. And for you who were were part of my life in 2007, you get 50% off! :)

I have never felt more blessed than I did this year. First, I got married to the most wonderful man on the planet! Considering that he belongs to the almost extinct species of good men, it's a miracle I found him - and that he actually married me! If you know me, you'll understand why that is a miracle :) Second, my relationship with my mother is stronger than ever. We made up for lost time and it's like I have found a new friend. As an added bonus, I have a new mother - my mother-in-law. So I actually gained two mothers this year! I was also blessed with great challenges and great people that touched my life and helped me grow. But if there's really one thing I am thankful for, it is that this year, by God's amazing grace, I found HIM and accepted Christ as my personal savior. This alone is enough for me to be thankful for a lifetime :)

As the new year dawns, my heart is filled with anticipation that 2008 will be an even more wonderful year, and that God will just continue to bless me and my family, pleasantly surprise me, and blow away my expectations as he reveals his plans for me on how to be the salt of this earth.

Having said that, my New Year's resolution is to totally submit to His will and continue to walk with Him in faith, to wherever He leads me. I resolve to further grow as a Christian by continuing to know Him through His words, His people and creation. I resolve to live a life that glorifies Him and manifests His life...to be done with my old self and put on a new self, one that is compassionate, gentle, kind and patient, so that every life I encounter will feel the love of Christ.

Now, again, if you know me, you know how difficult a challenge the above will be! So don't be surprised if I slip once in a while :) I am not making excuses this early, but the enemy is strong, and I will slip, and when I do, please be an angel and remind me of what I have resolved to be. I have faith that God will use you to perfect me :)

OF course I still plan to lose weight, save more, read more, watch less TV, travel more, sleep less, have more fun...and please, do remind me when I slip about these too...but let's just say these are the plans I could always recycle next year! :)

My Testimony

It started innocently enough. My friend Tetch, who is a Baptist Christian invited me to go to church with her. By going to church she meant attending a Born Again Christian Service. At that time, I was suffering from lack of spiritual nourishment as a Catholic. If you are in the UAE, a Filipino, and a Catholic, you would know what I'm talking about it. There is a serious lack of good Catholic priests here. For the longest time, I was attending church with my mind flying elsewhere, far from the confines of the church, understanding nothing the priest was saying, even criticizing the priest for not trying harder to get the message across. I look at the person next to me, i see him/her looking at the priest, but by the blank look on his/her face, i think he/she is in no better situation than I was.

Of course, the situation is really not much better back home, where I normally sit through a mass counting the minutes and eagerly awaiting the communion, which means the mass is nearing its end, but at least in the Philippines, there were a number of really good Catholic priests.

And so the main reasons I went with Tetch were 1) because i was in really desperate for some good preaching, and 2) I didn't want to turn Tetch down. Not to mention the fact that Tetch is a pretty persistent person you know, so i could really hardly say no to her even if i wanted to...I said to myself, one service... If i liked it, then perhaps i'll go once every month, and for the remaining three weeks i'll try to keep on going to the catholic church. I was thinking that time, that would be a pretty good division of devotional time, after all i was still catholic! So perhaps i could get value-for- time preaching from the born agains, and then still fulfill my catholic obligation for the remaining 75% of the time! =)

But I wasn't really planning on being a Born Again Christian. Primarily because aside from a select born agains i know, i didn't really like their lot. From my limited encounters with their "type", i have come to believe they are people who think they're holier than thou, above everybody else. Always trying to pretend to act good, but at the end of the day, acting more unchristianlike than people who didn't belive in God. I didn't want the way they say "praying over" like it was some statement that made them holier, like they had a pass to heaven or something.

Little did I know what was going to happen next, and how my life was going to be changed drastically. I never expected that that one service in January 2007 would lead to two, three...and before i realized it, i was attending service at EBCI (Emirates Baptist Church) for months, and eventually became a member. I am now Born Again.

The process was slow, and there were times when I had my doubts...big time! I was thinking of how it would affect my life, my family, my husband, his family, my friends. What would they say? They would surely laugh, or at least smile, thinking it was a joke. Me, a born again? Why, a year ago, i would have laughed myself about the idea of me being a Christian. I am not a bad person per se, but let's just say I didn't really fit the bill :P

I realize now that this reaction is generally because of misconceptions, misconceptions i shared before as a Catholic, of what is and what is not a Christian. And there is a whole gamut of things I have learned and continue to learn, being a new Christian myself, of these misconceptions. But the most important thing I have learned is that there are no holiness prerequisites to being a Christian. There are no tests to pass. I didn't even have to know a single passage in the bible. And no, I should not act holier than thou, like I have an exclusive claim to salvation because I'm as much as a sinner as anyone else.

The only thing I needed to realize is that I needed God - in the real sense that I needed HIM - just HIM...that you want to know HIM and have a relationship with HIM - and that the only way to have that is through HIS SON Jesus Christ, and not through any other means. That I am a sinner, not worthy of being saved, but by God's grace, through faith, I am saved.

As a Catholic, I used to think I was not any different from a Born Again Christian. I figured we believed and worshipped the same God - the difference just comes in the interpretation as to how to reach GOd. I thought that didn't really matter. I realize now how wrong that was because it does matter. There is no other way to God but through Jesus Christ - that cannot be overemphasized.

Now, I just feel at peace and excited! Peace because I feel I finally found home. Excited at the same time because my Christian journey has just begun :)

My Knight in Shining Armor

Today is my nong's bday. As a birthday present, I gave him a caricature of himself as a knight - for he is truly my knight in shining armor.

He makes me feel safe. Nong is the gentlest of people and yet there is something about him that makes me feel secure. Like nothing in this world can harm me, physically, or emotionall, because he is there to protect me.

He is my rock. He is strong when I am weak. People who knows us would probably say I am strong, but between the two us, I have no doubt that he is stronger. He is strong, but not in a flashy way. Nong has a quiet strength that draw my own strength from when I am down.

He makes me feel like a queen, like I call the shots. The truth of the matter is, he really calls the shots. Sure, he lets me get my way most of the time, but he knows better. Even if I do get my way most of the time, he knows on matters that really count, he takes charge.

It's not as if I'm blind to his faults. After ten years, I know the good as well as the bad. But his bad aren't even really bad, some of it are just offshoots of his good traits. And I love him for all that he is, good and bad. After all, knights are humans too.

When I was a starry eyed teenager, I prayed a knight will come and sweep me off my feet. And I believed he would. Despite experiences that could have made me cynical, I never faltered. I knew he would...and he did.

The Day I Fell In Love

Up to now, I still remember very clearly the day I fell in love with nong. I don't recall all the details, but I remember the feeling, like it was just yesterday.

I just got home to the dorm that day, found a friend in distress and needed my help. Later on, I would find out that she owed money to somebody, and when the time to settle the debt came and she couldn't pay up, nong volunteered to pawn a ring to help her. Now, the day has come for her to payoff the loan and claim the ring, otherwise, it would have been auctioned. Problem was, she didn't have the money. Bigger problem was, that ring was special. It was a gift from nong's mom, and he would surely want it back. SO she asked for my help, if I could lend her the money to bail her out...

Now, this friend, (whom don't get me wrong, i love very much), has in many cases, got me burned with the issue of money. And so this time, i thought i'll teach her a lesson, and not lend her any. I was feeling proud of myself - teach her a lesson so that in the future, she'd be more careful with what she spend, etc etc...and so I told her I didn't have money to spare, and gave her a lecture on how to spend properly, blah blah blah. I remember now I wasn't a good spender either, and totally had no right giving a lecture, but hell, i was feeling a bit righteous. I didn't even feel guilty.


ANd so, we parted ways after that, I went off to my next class, she to hers. At the end of the day, i asked her how things turned out and she said it got sorted out. And how it did just overwhelmed me, that to this day, i just couldn't forget.

Apparently, upon learning she couldn't pay up, assures her there's no problem, not to worry because he'll pay off the loan with his own money. I was floored.I was just ashamed of myself. and with came a deeper feeling of respect and awe for someone whose heart was so good. It wasn't as if nong was rich or something. HE was just a student like us, living on a meager allowance.

I was shamed by my selfishness. Here was a man who was good enough to help the first time, didn't get anything back, helped the second time without asking in return, without passing any judgement, without putting any blame...just doing his duty as a christian silently, without arrogance...

I don't remember all the details, but if there is anything vivid to this day, it was the feeling of my heart lurching, like it suddenly rejoiced in knowing it met its worthy taker. I remember thinking, here's a good heart, here's a good soul...I want to be worthy of them.

That was the day I fell in love with the most wonderful man on earth.

My First Blog

I have been meaning to start my blog for the longest time, but somehow i found it difficult to find a subject to deserve my first blog! It's like your many firsts, you want it to be as special as possible.

So you might ask (or you may not, but let me explain just the same), what exactly is special about today that deserved my first blog. Nothing extra special really..Well, nothing as special as my vacation in the Phils last month, which included my first trip to Boracay, and my getting married (my first time too).

It's just that today, on a bright, hot dubai summer afternoon, while I am alone in my room, contemplating my present life - today's to do list:laundry, vacuum, call home, sms mother, chat with hubby later, perhaps watch tv if there's time...next week's to do list - work work and more work... and then finally looking forward to my future life - being with my family this christmas, being with my hubby summer next year, going back to school, teaching, leisurely coffee talks with friends back home - and finally joining nong - sharing breakfasts together, camping under the stars, going for walks, sharing silent moments. God, i just felt so blessed thinking about what my future holds!

And so I just had to write about it...

Welcome to my blog!