Answered Prayers

Today, I have received two packages from Jesus. 

First was an answered prayer. The second was an unexpected blessing, or more appropriately a desire that we have not yet brought to God in prayer.

And so I sit here, with tears in my eyes, just thankful, and humbled by how much God loves HIS children.

HE always answers our prayers, and I mean always. It may not always be with a YES. Sometimes it could be with a NO, or WAIT, but HE ALWAYS answers in a way that is best for us. 

HE even answers prayers we haven't even voiced out yet. HE knows and HE provides. Isn't that just great?

And yet oftentimes, we easily lose faith. Thank God HE remains faithful in HIS promise that if we seek HIm first, then all other things will be added unto us.

I just want to encourage you, if there is anything you need or anything you need help in. Don't hesitate to come to God in prayer. Jesus will intercede for you, ALWAYS :)

My Life Instruction Book

For a large period in my life, I was drawn to self-help books and television talk-shows like Oprah (there was really a time when I was crazy about Oprah!) because, like most people, I was trying to find the right way or better way to live my life. I wanted to know how to be a better person in this world: a better daughter, sister, partner, friend. I wanted to know how to stay positive amidst challenges in life; how to hurdle the storm; how to deal with loss; how to reach my dreams. I wanted to know the How TO's in life. 

And then I started reading the Bible, and stumbled upon the greatest discovery or discoveries of my life. 

First, I discovered that it is actually fun reading the Bible. It's like going through a history book with a great plot and interesting subplots, and really fascinating characters. You will be surprised at how engaging it can be. There are times when you won't be able to put it down, and there are times when y

ou have no choice but to put it down, because what you've just read is too strong, you really have to pause and ponder God's word.

Second and more importantly, is that it contains all the How-To's I'll ever need in my life. I finally found a book that I can rely on to tell me how I should live all aspects of my life. The best thing is that it is not written by just some author. It is actually God's word, made available to me. 

I used to see the Bible as this grand book that did contain God's truth, but for some reason I perceived it to be something I will never understand by myself. Somehow, I was content to leave the reading of the Bible to the priests and then I would just listen to his sermon. I felt intimidated by it. I was quite sure that if I read it, I would burn or something. I thought it was something born-again Christians use to make others feel like losers. And yes, God forgive me, I believed it was boring and not really worth staying up late for. 

The truth is there is more to the Bible than the great bible stories we heard as a child. It contains so much more great and powerful truths about God and HIS word and how He wants us, HIS children to live our lives. What's really amazing is that the revelation you'll get from God when you read it is never going to be the same as that of the next person. And even if you read the same chapter or book twice, you will never be drawn to the same passage. I believe it's because God knows the perfect message to give us, one that is perfect to our circumstance, whether we are looking for answers or comfort from pain and heartaches. 

Maybe you want to know how to deal with an unfair boss, a stressful job, a failing career, an erring husband, a failed marriage, loss, death in the family, trials. Maybe you want to know how to be a woman, wife and mother (or a man, husband and father) after God's own heart. Whatever you need in life, you'll find it in the bible.

Oprah and Dr. Phil still have their place in the sun, but trust me, once you've read the Bible, you won't even need them.

Or better yet, don't trust my word on it. I say, open your bible, or get one, and you too will be watching less TV and spending less on self-help books :)

P.S. - If you are going to get one, I recommend the NIV (New international version) because it is the simplest translation. And get a study bible if you can. It will be very helpful as you study the context by which the books were written. God's word is a double-edged sword that's why it is often used or misused to mislead people. It is always important to understand the context, and of course, important to pray for guidance from God every time you read it. 

A Whole New WORD

I have been vacationing in the US (Texas) for a little over 3 months now, and so far, I haven't caught the Texan accent. He he...And I don't think I ever i will, y'all. What will most likely happen is that I will pick up some lines from their day-to-day, conversational language and have a short period of "hang-over" when I might drop these lines in my conversations with my family and friends. SO parang warning na to sa kanila, in case isipin nila na nagyayabang ako. He He He! I can't help it, I keep hearing them they are most likely going to be part of my vocabulary in the near future...

Eto ang mga linyang lagi kong naririnig mula sa mga Amerikano sa Amerika, or at least sa Texas:

1. "My Bad" = translation, kasalanan ko or my fault. 

2. "You silly girl!" = I heard a lady say it to a cute little girl who was being cute...so I am a bit confused when to use it because it doesn't show up in their idioms and when taken literally it means foolish...and I don't think the lady meant the cute girl was being foolish...Or did she? Hmn...Di ko na lang siguro gamitin to. Hehehe

3. " I was/am stunned" = Always hear radio and tv commentators say this phrase. From the context of their use, I picked it to mean mas mataas na level sa na-shock...Best way to use: Yung shock pang describe lang sa emotion pag binalik ni GMA mga kinurakot nya sa gobyerno. Pag nag resign sya, yun ma "stun" ka na! Oops sorry, my bad!

4.  AMazing! = ginagamit pag namangha ka sa isang bagay, tao o sitwasyon. Yung tipong "that homerun was amazing!", "Michael Phelps was amazing". Sa pinas ata, "great" na yung pinaka mataas na superlative na nagamit ko. 

So far, yun pa lang natutunan kong new english words dito. Hehehe

I do want to learn a new phrase in my remaining 2 months here! I would like to find out how the following Filipino phase will be translated in colloquial American english:

 "Pang-ilan ka sa magkakapatid?"

My friends and I used to have fun trying to translate it and we were pretty sure the phrase will end up getting lost in translation. If I do find out how they say it here, that would be "AMAZING!" 

Define Love...

Remember that very important question in slumnotes or slumbooks , "What is love?", followed by the more important question "WHo is your love?" . If you were in high school in the 80's, you'd know what I am talking about. If not, then you were not "in"! Hehe, just kidding. For people in later generation, this may be a foreign concept...I think Friendster replaced slumbooks, which is sad because it really was a nice experience, corny but nice 

Anyways, I remember that I always tried to think of a really smart definition (because my crush would likely read my answers ) and I remember not really coming up with any thing smart or original. That's probably understandable right? I was in high school, what did I know about love?! To me back then, it was that giddy feeling you have when you see your "love" in campus, or when he says hi, or when he looks your way...Hehe, anyways, moving on...I also remember that the most popular definition of love was "Love is like a rosary that is full of mystery!"

Now that I am much older and more experienced in the art of love (naks!), I believe that love is a mystery to the extent that we can't fully explain why we love the people we love and why we have to love even the most unlovable person. But as to what love is, that is not really a mystery. The Bible says it all: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

You've probably heard that definition before (I'm thinking of Mandy Moore's movie - yes the one that made you cry because she died of cancer) and thought it sweet, but when you consider closely how God defines it and how we are commanded to love our neighbors as we love ourself, then it becomes really heavy stuff. 

There is a girl whom I know who at one moment you would hear say "Oh my gosh, I really love this girl!", only to hear her badmouth the same person because of a seemingly petty thing after a few days. And I used to think to myself that she really had it wrong, but I realize that I am no different from her. 

I love my family, I love my husband, I love my friends, and yet, so many times, I am quick to judge them, and be offended or even just irritated by things they have done. And how sometimes I can't seem to forget the times I felt they have wronged me. 

Do you get easily irritated when your husband leaves dirty clothes lying around? When he does not lift the toilet bowl? Do you embarrass him in front of other people? DO you get mad at him when he forgets your anniversary? (Now, I am not saying you're just to let him be a sloth or a forgetful husband. Not at all. All I'm saying is that there are nicer, sweeter, loving ways to act and react and still get the message across - or get a

nice anniversary gift ). 

Do you get mad at the guy who cut the line? How about the one who cut you on the road? How about the slow-moving server at that fast food chain who can't get your order right? DOn't you just think to yourself sometimes that he is a moron?

Love seems to be one of the most loosely used and misused words in the vocabulary and  oftentimes we fail to grasp what it really means. When we say "I love You", it's as if we are saying, " I love You because you did something or have something that makes me happy".

By God's definition, I realize love is not a word to mince with. It is a big word, and to love is a tall order. Every time I am near the point of impatience, of being rude and unkind, of taking offense, I stop for a moment to realize how God says I should act with people whom I claim I love. More importantly, I think of the people whom GOd says, I am supposed to love. 

I don't always succeed, but that's the best thing about God. I know HE loves me and therefore he patiently waits until I get love right!

I wish I knew all these in my slumnote-writing days! Boy, won't my "love" think I'm really smart!?

A Birthday Prayer

I celebrated my birthday a few days ago, and this prayer of thanks (or at least bits and parts of it) kept playing in my mind the whole day...

Lord, thank you for the great friends that I have, people who loves me, people whom I can run to and rely on, knowing that they would help me without expecting anything in return, people with whom I could have good fun, and 

endless witty and not-so witty conversations. While one cannot

 choose family, one can choose friends. Thank you for making my friends choose me! They are truly angels that you have sent in my life. And if I had only one friend left, I want them to be more! 

Thank you for my family who have been my source of joy and inspiration. It has been said that one cannot choose his fam

ily, but one has to cherish and love the family he has been dealt with. Lord

, thank you that I didn't get to choose my family...because no one could do a better job of putting together a more perfect family than You. Thank you for a family filled with so much love for each other and so many personal

 imperfections, that we rely on your grace everyday to keep our love for each other alive. Thank you for the 

challenges that have strengthened our love even further, but more i

mportantly, have strengthened our faith in you.

Thank you for my wonderful husband Nong!

I used to think that 

I might have done some

thing good in my life to deserve someone like him. I couldn't be more wrong. I didn't deserve him. I don't think I ever will. But by your grace, you

gave me the kindest and  "purest" hearted man on earth to be my husband and best friend. As if that 

wasn't enough, you also gave me someone intelligent, funny and totally HOT too! Oh yes, thank you for that God.

I look back and realize that my life is sprinkled with your amazing love and grace. Even at my lowest and darkest times, when I thought You were not present, when You were farthest from my mind, I know now that You were there, and You were in control of my life. There were times when I was ashamed to approach You, or talk to You, knowing that my life wasn't exactly a good testimony of Your glory. Thank you for never letting go. Thank you that despite my transgressions, by your grace you have forgiven and saved me.

Lord, thank you for the gift of life. I truly am thankful for the 32 years you have given me, and even more thankful that my life is more meaningful at 32. I am looking forward to my walk with Jesus. 

I thank You Lord, in Jesus' name, Amen

Born to Write

I know now that I was born to write. How do i know that? Because I love pens! He he he...

I have just realized that I have so many pens. I look at my table at work, and there's a bunch. I open my bag and find a number of them. I look at my bedside table, there they are in red, black and blue.There's even a pencil holder on top of my clothes drawer, looking out of place amidst the perfume, lotion and toiletries. I realize I could not go anywhere without them, and they could not be absent from my areas of habitation. The funny thing though is that I am not satisfied with just one, I have to have many in different colors and types as well! I gotta have a ballpen, a signpen, a pencil, and a highlighter even!

I confess now that acquiring and hoarding pens is one of my addictions! :)

And boy do I hoard them! I remember now, back in the Philippines, I had a reputation at work for picking up other people's pens from their tables. It was always the case that one's pen would disappear after I have just visited him or her at his/her workstation! I think people started putting their names on their pens because of me. He he he...

I didn't really reflect on that aspect of my personality until I realized I have so many of them! I swear I never intended to "steal" other people's pens - although I've had moments of longingly looking at people's pens with purple ink..but I never really thought of stealing them :) So i should be pretty harmless...and I don't intentionally stack them in my bag or my pencil holders as well.

I think it's just that subconciously, I am afraid that I will run out of something to write with! I am a doodler you see - I just write anything and everything on anything and everything, and I guess my subconscious just fears that one day, people will stop manufacturing pens, and then, where will I be? :)

And so, why do I write about this really? Well, this is my way of reaching out to you ...for those I will meet, please consider this a warning as I haven't found a cure yet...although you should be happy to be sitting next to me in an exam, or a long flight only to find out you have no pen. For my friends and family, now you know what to get me for my birthday (I like them fancy and nice). For people I have worked with or met, who ever wondered where they pens went, yes, it was probably me...for those who knew it was me, I am really sorry... I will find a way to pay you when I start to earn big bucks from my writing..After all, if my love for pens is any indication, I should be a great writer someday :)

My Resolve for the New Year

Like any normal person, I look forward to the new year ahead for the new beginning that it represents. Of course any day could be a new beginning, but New Year just seems to be the most appropriate time to start a new life, new plan - new anything! It does not matter that most of our new year plans and resolutions fly out of the window in less than a month...we don't lose heart. First of all, it's an accepted eventuality. Second of all, we still have the next year to look forward to, to recycle the same resolution! :)

I could not help but reflect on the year 2007 and what an amazing year this has been for me! When I become great someday, and someone writes my biography, 2007 will be marked as a very significant year in my life. Would probably take two chapters of the book. And for you who were were part of my life in 2007, you get 50% off! :)

I have never felt more blessed than I did this year. First, I got married to the most wonderful man on the planet! Considering that he belongs to the almost extinct species of good men, it's a miracle I found him - and that he actually married me! If you know me, you'll understand why that is a miracle :) Second, my relationship with my mother is stronger than ever. We made up for lost time and it's like I have found a new friend. As an added bonus, I have a new mother - my mother-in-law. So I actually gained two mothers this year! I was also blessed with great challenges and great people that touched my life and helped me grow. But if there's really one thing I am thankful for, it is that this year, by God's amazing grace, I found HIM and accepted Christ as my personal savior. This alone is enough for me to be thankful for a lifetime :)

As the new year dawns, my heart is filled with anticipation that 2008 will be an even more wonderful year, and that God will just continue to bless me and my family, pleasantly surprise me, and blow away my expectations as he reveals his plans for me on how to be the salt of this earth.

Having said that, my New Year's resolution is to totally submit to His will and continue to walk with Him in faith, to wherever He leads me. I resolve to further grow as a Christian by continuing to know Him through His words, His people and creation. I resolve to live a life that glorifies Him and manifests His life...to be done with my old self and put on a new self, one that is compassionate, gentle, kind and patient, so that every life I encounter will feel the love of Christ.

Now, again, if you know me, you know how difficult a challenge the above will be! So don't be surprised if I slip once in a while :) I am not making excuses this early, but the enemy is strong, and I will slip, and when I do, please be an angel and remind me of what I have resolved to be. I have faith that God will use you to perfect me :)

OF course I still plan to lose weight, save more, read more, watch less TV, travel more, sleep less, have more fun...and please, do remind me when I slip about these too...but let's just say these are the plans I could always recycle next year! :)

My Testimony

It started innocently enough. My friend Tetch, who is a Baptist Christian invited me to go to church with her. By going to church she meant attending a Born Again Christian Service. At that time, I was suffering from lack of spiritual nourishment as a Catholic. If you are in the UAE, a Filipino, and a Catholic, you would know what I'm talking about it. There is a serious lack of good Catholic priests here. For the longest time, I was attending church with my mind flying elsewhere, far from the confines of the church, understanding nothing the priest was saying, even criticizing the priest for not trying harder to get the message across. I look at the person next to me, i see him/her looking at the priest, but by the blank look on his/her face, i think he/she is in no better situation than I was.

Of course, the situation is really not much better back home, where I normally sit through a mass counting the minutes and eagerly awaiting the communion, which means the mass is nearing its end, but at least in the Philippines, there were a number of really good Catholic priests.

And so the main reasons I went with Tetch were 1) because i was in really desperate for some good preaching, and 2) I didn't want to turn Tetch down. Not to mention the fact that Tetch is a pretty persistent person you know, so i could really hardly say no to her even if i wanted to...I said to myself, one service... If i liked it, then perhaps i'll go once every month, and for the remaining three weeks i'll try to keep on going to the catholic church. I was thinking that time, that would be a pretty good division of devotional time, after all i was still catholic! So perhaps i could get value-for- time preaching from the born agains, and then still fulfill my catholic obligation for the remaining 75% of the time! =)

But I wasn't really planning on being a Born Again Christian. Primarily because aside from a select born agains i know, i didn't really like their lot. From my limited encounters with their "type", i have come to believe they are people who think they're holier than thou, above everybody else. Always trying to pretend to act good, but at the end of the day, acting more unchristianlike than people who didn't belive in God. I didn't want the way they say "praying over" like it was some statement that made them holier, like they had a pass to heaven or something.

Little did I know what was going to happen next, and how my life was going to be changed drastically. I never expected that that one service in January 2007 would lead to two, three...and before i realized it, i was attending service at EBCI (Emirates Baptist Church) for months, and eventually became a member. I am now Born Again.

The process was slow, and there were times when I had my doubts...big time! I was thinking of how it would affect my life, my family, my husband, his family, my friends. What would they say? They would surely laugh, or at least smile, thinking it was a joke. Me, a born again? Why, a year ago, i would have laughed myself about the idea of me being a Christian. I am not a bad person per se, but let's just say I didn't really fit the bill :P

I realize now that this reaction is generally because of misconceptions, misconceptions i shared before as a Catholic, of what is and what is not a Christian. And there is a whole gamut of things I have learned and continue to learn, being a new Christian myself, of these misconceptions. But the most important thing I have learned is that there are no holiness prerequisites to being a Christian. There are no tests to pass. I didn't even have to know a single passage in the bible. And no, I should not act holier than thou, like I have an exclusive claim to salvation because I'm as much as a sinner as anyone else.

The only thing I needed to realize is that I needed God - in the real sense that I needed HIM - just HIM...that you want to know HIM and have a relationship with HIM - and that the only way to have that is through HIS SON Jesus Christ, and not through any other means. That I am a sinner, not worthy of being saved, but by God's grace, through faith, I am saved.

As a Catholic, I used to think I was not any different from a Born Again Christian. I figured we believed and worshipped the same God - the difference just comes in the interpretation as to how to reach GOd. I thought that didn't really matter. I realize now how wrong that was because it does matter. There is no other way to God but through Jesus Christ - that cannot be overemphasized.

Now, I just feel at peace and excited! Peace because I feel I finally found home. Excited at the same time because my Christian journey has just begun :)

My Knight in Shining Armor

Today is my nong's bday. As a birthday present, I gave him a caricature of himself as a knight - for he is truly my knight in shining armor.

He makes me feel safe. Nong is the gentlest of people and yet there is something about him that makes me feel secure. Like nothing in this world can harm me, physically, or emotionall, because he is there to protect me.

He is my rock. He is strong when I am weak. People who knows us would probably say I am strong, but between the two us, I have no doubt that he is stronger. He is strong, but not in a flashy way. Nong has a quiet strength that draw my own strength from when I am down.

He makes me feel like a queen, like I call the shots. The truth of the matter is, he really calls the shots. Sure, he lets me get my way most of the time, but he knows better. Even if I do get my way most of the time, he knows on matters that really count, he takes charge.

It's not as if I'm blind to his faults. After ten years, I know the good as well as the bad. But his bad aren't even really bad, some of it are just offshoots of his good traits. And I love him for all that he is, good and bad. After all, knights are humans too.

When I was a starry eyed teenager, I prayed a knight will come and sweep me off my feet. And I believed he would. Despite experiences that could have made me cynical, I never faltered. I knew he would...and he did.

The Day I Fell In Love

Up to now, I still remember very clearly the day I fell in love with nong. I don't recall all the details, but I remember the feeling, like it was just yesterday.

I just got home to the dorm that day, found a friend in distress and needed my help. Later on, I would find out that she owed money to somebody, and when the time to settle the debt came and she couldn't pay up, nong volunteered to pawn a ring to help her. Now, the day has come for her to payoff the loan and claim the ring, otherwise, it would have been auctioned. Problem was, she didn't have the money. Bigger problem was, that ring was special. It was a gift from nong's mom, and he would surely want it back. SO she asked for my help, if I could lend her the money to bail her out...

Now, this friend, (whom don't get me wrong, i love very much), has in many cases, got me burned with the issue of money. And so this time, i thought i'll teach her a lesson, and not lend her any. I was feeling proud of myself - teach her a lesson so that in the future, she'd be more careful with what she spend, etc etc...and so I told her I didn't have money to spare, and gave her a lecture on how to spend properly, blah blah blah. I remember now I wasn't a good spender either, and totally had no right giving a lecture, but hell, i was feeling a bit righteous. I didn't even feel guilty.


ANd so, we parted ways after that, I went off to my next class, she to hers. At the end of the day, i asked her how things turned out and she said it got sorted out. And how it did just overwhelmed me, that to this day, i just couldn't forget.

Apparently, upon learning she couldn't pay up, assures her there's no problem, not to worry because he'll pay off the loan with his own money. I was floored.I was just ashamed of myself. and with came a deeper feeling of respect and awe for someone whose heart was so good. It wasn't as if nong was rich or something. HE was just a student like us, living on a meager allowance.

I was shamed by my selfishness. Here was a man who was good enough to help the first time, didn't get anything back, helped the second time without asking in return, without passing any judgement, without putting any blame...just doing his duty as a christian silently, without arrogance...

I don't remember all the details, but if there is anything vivid to this day, it was the feeling of my heart lurching, like it suddenly rejoiced in knowing it met its worthy taker. I remember thinking, here's a good heart, here's a good soul...I want to be worthy of them.

That was the day I fell in love with the most wonderful man on earth.

My First Blog

I have been meaning to start my blog for the longest time, but somehow i found it difficult to find a subject to deserve my first blog! It's like your many firsts, you want it to be as special as possible.

So you might ask (or you may not, but let me explain just the same), what exactly is special about today that deserved my first blog. Nothing extra special really..Well, nothing as special as my vacation in the Phils last month, which included my first trip to Boracay, and my getting married (my first time too).

It's just that today, on a bright, hot dubai summer afternoon, while I am alone in my room, contemplating my present life - today's to do list:laundry, vacuum, call home, sms mother, chat with hubby later, perhaps watch tv if there's time...next week's to do list - work work and more work... and then finally looking forward to my future life - being with my family this christmas, being with my hubby summer next year, going back to school, teaching, leisurely coffee talks with friends back home - and finally joining nong - sharing breakfasts together, camping under the stars, going for walks, sharing silent moments. God, i just felt so blessed thinking about what my future holds!

And so I just had to write about it...

Welcome to my blog!